Getting More: Book Review | How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

Summary of “Getting more”: Negotiate in different ways: concentrate on the opposite, anticipate, practice and achieve more, it will change your life!

Getting More by Stuart Diamond, 2012, 416 pages

The original title is “Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life”

The 12 principles of the Getting More Method

1. Objectives are essential

Your objectives are what you want as the final result of a successful negotiation… So everything you didn’t have in the preliminary stages of the discussions. Everything you do in a negotiation or trade has to move you nearer to your objectives.

2. Stay focused on the relevant person

Consider yourself to be least important person in the negotiation. You will not be able to persuade people if you don’t know what they think: their insights, their emotions, their needs, etc.

3. Be empathetic with the other person’s feelings

Exploit the other person’s emotional psyche with empathy or acknowledgment of their needs.

4. Every situation is different

In negotiations, there is no standard solution.

5. Move forward in stages

Take small steps, whether you are looking for a raise or to do a deal. Approach the other side slowly, progressively reducing any distance there may be.

6. Discuss things that you each see from a different perspective

Everybody attaches a different value to things. Explore what is important for each participant.

7. Identify the requirements of your counterpart

How do they do things, what don’t they like, how have they done things before, previous policies, what has influenced their previous policies and decisions?

8. Be completely transparent and positive, and in no way manipulative

This is one of the most important differences between the Getting More model and the perception we have of traditional negotiation. Don’t mislead people. If you’re truthful you’re also credible, and credibility is your most important asset.

9. Communicate well, state the obvious and articulate a common vision

Bad communication, or none at all, is the reason for most unsuccessful negotiations.

10. Find the real problem and turn it into an advantage

To find the actual problem, you need to understand why the other party behaves the way they do.

11. Embrace the differences in a constructive way

Most people assume that things that are different are also worse, more risky, inconvenient and uncomfortable. But in reality, something that is different can be better, more profitable, more innovative.

12. Be prepared – make notes and rehearse

Rehearse scenarios with a partner. This allows you to identify issues, strengths and weaknesses, and to plan solutions in advance so that you’re in an advantageous position once negotiations start.

Chronicle and summary of the book “Getting More”:

Note: this column is a guest column written by Yohann Feneche from the blog


I can guess your thoughts: yet another post about negotiation. Another guy who’s going to offer you riches so you that you like his article. Like me, you’ve read loads of them. You have scoured websites in search of the best methods. You have been told never to make the first offer, to be tough, or nice. And, you have tried but without much success.

A common question is how to negotiate your salary.

How often have you felt frustrated and powerless in front of your boss who, each year, fails to give you a pay rise or promotion that you deserve? Or with a client who always demands more and wants to pay less?

You find it hard to deal with disputes or competitors who block your career path. And there’s always a colleague / friend / acquaintance who has the same technical skills as you, the same qualifications, is the same age. In short, they are your double. And yet it always goes right for them, every year they are promoted. They gradually rise within the company whilst you go nowhere. They never get angry, they are very popular with everyone, a star basically.

Yet they do no more work than you and it’s no better than yours. But how do they manage it? What is their secret formula? Let me show you how they do it.

For a long time, I was awkward in negotiations, lacked confidence and was often unprepared. Generally, I was pretty lousy. I am not about to suggest that with the application of this method that I have transformed myself into a superstar negotiator. That just isn’t the case and neither is it possible. You can’t turn yourself into a boxing champion in a day. First, you have to learn the techniques, get things wrong and get hit.

Getting More has TRANSFORMED my attitude in negotiations.

Because I now understand how to handle it. Sometimes I fail, but I get better every time I negotiate, I improve, I have become more confident.

  • You don’t have enough time to read Getting More? Don’t worry, I have selected the best bits of Getting More. First, you can test the concepts, then read Getting More.

In just 15 minutes you will gain good knowledge of the process required to negotiate well. Practice these methods at least once a day. You will notice, your colleagues and family will see the difference, and they will ask you for your advice.

The importance of proper negotiation: Negotiation is omnipresent. As soon as you communicate, you negotiate, you try to convince people of your ideas.

You will be more successful in your negotiations, whether you order a pizza or negotiate a multi-million dollar contract. Let’s set the scene with the use of some real life examples:

You’ve already come across them:

First off, the worst of them all. Avoid it like the black plague.

Level 0: the baseball bat

That is how a tyrannical boss acts. Their sole weapon: their status.

They bully those around them in order to achieve what they want. Their victims are obliged to cooperate, but, one day, will get their own back when the situation changes. In the long term, threats and force are too costly. Force ruins relationships. If the target doesn’t acquiesce, it gets worse, and the costs are even higher. The result is employees wanting to walk out! Or stick a knife in the boss’s back!

This type of negotiation needs to be avoided at all costs! Now let’s look at a person who negotiates better, in a more adept manner.

Level 1: reason

The dictionary salesman is on the phone. His main weapon: the speech that he has planned well in advance.

He points out the logical advantages of his product. A dictionary: is there a better way to learn? Doesn’t everyone have a dictionary at home? What the salesperson does is attempt to tap into your sense of logic, to convince you that you will benefit if you buy this well-known dictionary.

But what if you prefer Google? If you are in a bad mood and you don’t want to talk to them? If you do end up with this dictionary, it’s no big deal. It costs you a few euros. Worst case scenario, you can give it to your mother-in-law.

Let’s take a bit of a risk:

A risky situation:

Pretend you’re about to buy your first home. The stakes are high: that’s because it’s a lot of money!

The developer, like our dictionary vendor, gives you their sales pitch, which they have already run through with the previous 40 viewings: a good location, a quiet place, no neighbor opposite…

Everything seems perfect, but you don’t buy it. It doesn’t feel right. You think it’s too risky. You feel that the developer has kept some details back from you. Why is this house, which seems so perfect, still on the market?  The developer may have tried everything in Getting More, but without success.

When the stakes are high, you need more than just reasoning. You need Stéphane Plaza, the most famous real estate agent in France.

Level 2: Perceptions:

What exactly does Stéphane Plaza do in his TV shows when he searches for an apartment / house?

He puts himself in the position of the buyers! He asks lots of questions and obtains as much information as possible. And he sees the potential apartment from his client’s perspective. If necessary, he changes his clients’ perceptions. He takes it step by step, apartment by apartment. By the time they visit the last apartment it, miraculously, corresponds perfectly to what the clients require.

However, the apartment doesn’t have all the important requirements that were stipulated at the outset!

This method is vital to any negotiation. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Look at the situation through their eyes and everything that relates to it. Then you will learn how to gradually change someone’s perspective.

But sometimes this still isn’t enough:

Back to the house purchase. Stéphane has found you the right house, but what if you are still worried? This is the most important deal of your life! What happens if the market collapses in a month? Or a storm rips through the area? Once again Stéphane Plaza has the answer. Let’s go to level 3.

Level 3: Emotions:

Stéphane Plaza surpasses the expectations of his clients. He is sensitive to his clients’ emotions. Stéphane Plaza acknowledges that when you buy your first home, it can be difficult. He listens to his clients, their fears, hopes and desires. He takes their feelings onboard and makes them feel valued. His responses take his clients’ concerns into account. The places he shows clients relate to this. Stéphane Plaza can’t find you the apartment you need. He finds you the apartment you like.

In short, with Stéphane Plaza, you aren’t just another client. You are valued. You trust him. And, you could buy it blindfolded.

Everyone experiences the world through their feelings. When the stakes are high: the heart overrides reason. If we take on board other peoples’ feelings, we get more attention, so get more of their trust. Once the other person is ready to listen, you can start to use level 2, then level 1.

If you start a conversation with a question like: How are you? How do you feel? How is the family? You use this principle. The point here is to go much further, to really understand the other person’s feelings: if you’re interested in them, they will be interested in you! It’s a scientific fact, genuine interest in someone else’s situation doubles the likelihood that they’ll say yes.

Let’s be clear, even if we use all the tools we are about to discover, some people still won’t “buy it”. Stéphane Plaza doesn’t always manage to find the right apartment. However, he manages to do so A LOT MORE than all of the others. That’s why he is as well known as he is now.

You will also achieve better results with the techniques you learn! The first one is the most important, it’s down to you:

TECHNIQUE #1: Define your objectives!

Before negotiations, ask yourself: What do I want to achieve from these negotiations that I don’t have now?

Your objectives are what drives all of your negotiations.

If you have no objectives, it’s the same as if you get in a car and have no destination. If you don’t review your objectives on a regular basis it’s as if you don’t regularly check where you are on your car journey. Define your objectives! “I want to visit New York” is more accurate than “I want to go to the United States”.

Never give up on your objectives.

A negotiation is only over when you decide it is, regardless of how many times you are told no.

If your boss rejects your raise, ask “why?”. “What should I do in order to get it?” “Has my work not improved over the last year?” “Does the company not reward those who deserve it the most?”

Be polite but firm. If that doesn’t work, re-word your request in another way. “Is there a chance of a bonus for the clients I signed up this year?”

How often have you given in to your child? Ten times you have told them “No more candy!”, but the 11th time you give in: “This is the last time!” Children, as they are powerless, have no option but to negotiate. The smart ones are very good at it!

Adjust your objectives:

As you would change your car journey. Stay focused on your goals, like an athlete in a competition. Ask yourself: What are my objectives? What are their needs? Do we have a common enemy? Can I demonstrate the advantages of a future relationship?

Control the process:

It’s as if you were in control of the negotiation: in a meeting, ask: “Is it possible to take 2 minutes for me to write the agenda?” Go to the flipchart, take the pen, write up the timetable for the negotiations.

If you control the process, you control the topics discussed, how they are approached, the goals of the meeting, the timelines, the next steps, who does what… Even a junior employee can take charge of a meeting with this method.

The next technique will be one that you recognise, we will delve back into a previous subject.

TECHNIQUE #2: Focus on the other side!

Get inside your opponent’s mind.

Ask yourself: what is important to them? What will their reaction be if I say XX or YY? What are their weaknesses and vulnerabilities?

If you want to get yourself ready for a tough negotiation, such as your annual salary review, which you have eagerly awaited for the past year, as the previous year you were turned down due to the fact that company “Y” took the “X” contract from us. This raise will secures what you earn over the next year. It’s all to play for!

To prepare yourself: use role-play in which you’re your boss in this negotiation. Put yourself in their shoes. You know them well, you know how they react, what they like or dislike, their expectations of you. Your wife/husband will play you, you’ve bombarded them every night for a week about this meeting with your boss. They are fully aware of your position and views.

Practice this for 30 minutes. You won’t regret it. The end result: new ideas to boost your morale, better ways to express your opinions, and increased self-confidence.

How does your child convince you again and again? He knows you inside out! He works on it every day!

Ask 2 employees within a marketing department to define “marketing”, you will get 2 very different answers, sometimes completely contradictory. That’s why you should always check what the other person thinks.

Third parties:

When you negotiate your increase: your boss has an allowance set by their boss. When they give raises they also have to keep their boss satisfied. Their boss needs to be taken into consideration in the negotiations because he pulls the strings.

Find the decision-maker:

Put the question directly to your point of contact: “Do you have the power to do XX?”, “Who makes the decision?”, “What’s the set-up?” If a corporate client tells you: “our company believes your price is too high”, respond with: “Who believes our prices are too high? We would gladly discuss this with them.” Don’t negotiate with the wrong person. It’s a waste of time and energy.

If your boss says no, ask him: “What would your boss agree to?” Give him some reasons so he can put your case forward to his boss.

Third parties are those to whom your contact person is accountable, take orders from and/or comply with. If you can’t influence the person you deal with directly, think about the other people you can try to influence.

It’s the same premise as a kid in the playground who says “I’m going to tell the teacher!“; if they can’t get their way with you, they will push other buttons to get what they want.

It is also the principle of an assimilation. It’s a good thing to apply for a job. You send in your application, as do a 1,000 other applicants, and hope that it gets through the initial stage. However, if someone within the company refers you, you go straight to the top of the pile. There’s a very good chance that you’ll be given an interview.

If you can put the other person first, it means that you put their interests ahead of yours. For example, don’t say: “I’m off to Paris. Where are you off to?” Say, “Where are you off to? I’m off to Paris”, same words but you put your contact person first.

Now let’s turn our attention to the other person’s feelings.

TECHNIQUE #3: Be empathetic with the other person’s feelings!

You have someone in front of you who is very angry: if you tell them to “calm down”, it won’t change the situation. If the roles were reversed would it work with you? In fact, it makes it appear that you don’t appreciate their feelings. It makes them feel misunderstood, and that will just make the situation worse.

Faced with an irate client, just let them speak their mind. Don’t get upset. If there are lots of people opposite you, just ask them, “Do you have to shout at me?”, “Is it necessary to insult me?”, “Do you all agree with the tone and substance of what has just been said?” They will have to calm down. If you become angry in negotiations it’s the same as if you drive your car the wrong way down a one way street.

When someone close to you is sad/angry/stressed, try to work out why, for example: “You look like you had a bad day. Are you upset about your meeting?” Make some suggestions of what has made them feel upset, even if they are wrong, as this will make them feel cared for and maybe then they may tell you the problem. There’s a better chance that they will listen to you.

Life is irrational.

Don’t take it personally when someone is angry, distracted, or impatient. Ask them about it. It could be down to all sorts of things: traffic jams, a sick child, a bad coffee, an argument…

It is what the small details are about: when you give your wife/husband a small gift / a bit of extra attention, it’s not the value that is important. Simply the fact that you have made the gesture shows that they are in your mind, that you have thought about them and devoted time and attention to them. It makes them feel appreciated.

The next technique is a key ingredient for successful negotiations.

TECHNIQUE #4: Every situation is different:

The same negotiation with the same person about the same subject will not be the same on Monday as it is on Tuesday. Over these 2 days, life can change, and so can the other person’s feelings. Monday they were cheerful, Tuesday they are in a bad mood. You should always analyse the mood of the other person with the use of the previous techniques 2 and 3.

You should always ask yourself: How can I convince them?  Are they prepared to listen to me? You must employ this technique at all times, even with your family.

You now have a new strategy to deal with your negotiations. If you apply these simple principles, you will increase your powers of persuasion tenfold. Let’s sum up with a mid-way graph that I designed especially for you:

Let’s continue with another important strategy to achieve your objectives.

TECHNIQUE #5: Step by step procedure:

Your child doesn’t want a vaccination because they don’t like needles: Ask them “Does Mummy/Daddy love you?”, “Would Mummy/Daddy ever hurt you?”, “To become a grown up, you have to do things you don’t like. Dad/Mum also need to have injections to stay healthy. Don’t you want to be healthy like Mummy/Daddy?”

If you get a comment in a negotiation, such as: “We don’t like consultants / lawyers / your profession”, ask “Why? Did something happen in the past?”. After they have explained their reasons simply tell them, “I have no idea about the people who did this and I have no connection to them whatsoever. Does our relationship have to suffer because of what someone else did?” “Wouldn’t it be reasonable to work out if there are some proposals that suit you?”

If you have an issue with a service provider, ask: “Is customer satisfaction important to your business?”. “Are current customers more important than new ones?” “Is it fair that new customers benefit from this offer and not old ones?” “Have you previously made an exception?”

  • You can even negotiate with a policeman. If you are stopped without your seat-belt on, tell them: “I’m glad you stopped me as I know that’s your job. Thanks to you, I will never again forget to wear my seat belt. You probably saved my life.” The chances are that you will be the only person to have spoken with them in this way, you might even avoid a fine. You give them recognition and respect, and they let you off the hook.

Let’s now examine a technique that has been part of human relationships since time immemorial.

TECHNIQUE #6: Exchange and barter:

Everyone values things differently. You and your child exchange more homework time for more TV. With your supplier, you get a cheaper price if you refer them to other potential buyers. It is the principle of “I will look after the kids on Wednesday, and you do it on Saturday”.

In business, share information. Imagine: You give a client something on Monday. On Tuesday, you provide the same thing, but you throw in a nice hotel room in Italy (their next holiday destination).

  • On which of these days does your customer receive better value? Was Tuesday’s transaction more expensive than Monday’s? In the corporate world, these small details can make a significant difference.

If you give your business customers a service from which they benefit, it increases trust and consequently your prospects for an agreement.

  • You can even negotiate in a supermarket: For instance, after New Year’s Eve, the local supermarket may want to get rid of the festive chocolate boxes. Ask to see the person in charge, ask them if it’s possible to get them on “buy one, get one free”. You may be surprised! They give you a free box, you help their cash flow and reduce the amount of unsold stock. I once had someone do that right before my eyes!

The next technique is usually neglected in negotiations. But it is extremely effective, even with those who generally refuse to budge.

TECHNIQUE #7: Make use of their policies:

When you book a short break, ask them: “Do you give discounts? How can I get one?”

I once tried this: “Can you knock off the booking fees?” Outcome: €100 discount, in 5 minutes.

If you always choose the same company, build a relationship with one specific salesperson. You will see, as time passes, you will get special treatment eg. when you book a hotel: “Do you offer late departures? Has someone booked the room after us? Do you offer upgrades? How can that be done?”

When you have an issue with a service provider ask: “Is customer satisfaction important to your business?”

  • If you suffer due to a company’s error: ask “Is it fair that I pay for your company’s mistakes?”
  • If they reply “it’s our policy”, ask “Have you ever made an exception?”

When you deal with a business, look at its website and its code of conduct, then make use of it. People like to be consistent. And, if you can highlight discrepancies between their actions and their policies, they will agree to your requests.

If you are in negotiations for a raise: first ask: “What is the company’s policy on wage increases?” If the raise offered is insignificant, ask: “Is the work I have completed this year of no more value than my work from last year?”

On a separate matter, if your spouse never lets you choose which movie to see: “Honey, last 3 films we saw were ones you chose. Isn’t it my turn to choose?”

This is a very important approach to use in negotiations.

TECHNIQUE #8: Be open and constructive:

Your credibility is your most valuable asset. If you don’t know something or you don’t understand it, say so! Don’t let misunderstandings develop!

If you’re in a bad mood say, “I am in a bad mood. I apologise in advance if I say something inappropriate.”

We’re all aware that to build a relationship based on trust takes time but it can be ruined in an instant. For example, a couple married for 20 years, if one of them cheats on the other and has an affair: the 20 years of marriage are ruined!

If you charge a customer an extra €1,000, even in error, you will permanently be labelled as the supplier who overcharges. To be able to re-build a business relationship with a customer is basically impossible if the customer discovers that they have been lied to.

If you ask a shop for a discount does it mean you deny them money? If the shop agrees to give you a discount, you will be a happy customer. The chances are that you’ll return to buy more items. You will tell your friends about them. You promote the shop.

So, who benefits more from the discount?

  • Ask how they do business and finalise agreements: You need to be able to discuss this, especially if your contact person is from another culture. For the Chinese, a signed contract is not specifically an agreement. It is a reference used as a benchmark against other agreements within the industry. Tailor your needs to suit the situation.

If you aren’t totally convinced and confident, put practices in place that mean those involved can’t take advantage of you (e.g. performance pay). If someone you recently met asks you, “You don’t trust me?” your answer could be “Why should I trust you? We hardly know each other.”

If you are unsure and the other party always requests more information, tell them: “I’m not comfortable enough to share this information at this stage.”

  • Stick to what’s within your control: You can’t change the past. Negotiations involve the need to identify solutions. If your counterpart is responsible for a problem, ask “What do we do now?”, or “How do we make sure that this doesn’t happen again?”

Do not lose out. Negotiate and emphasise the present, the future, and the creation of value.

Now let us remind ourselves of the cornerstone of negotiation. Nothing is possible without it.

TECHNIQUE #9: Always communicate:

This is the bottom line: to negotiate, you have to talk to the other person. Apart from in extreme cases (e.g. violence…), you should always communicate with the person that you deal with. If you feel that the situation is a bit stressful, say so: “I feel like you’re stressed. If it’s because of me, I apologise. Could we talk it through?”

Be careful with emails:

Everyone has been upset when receiving a certain kind of email. “What the hell does he want now? How can he ask me that? What does this mean?…”

A “Thank you in advance” may be considered harmless by the sender, but may well be viewed as authoritarian by some recipients who may interpret that way: “I thank you already, because I know you have no alternative but to simply do what I ask. And when you deliver, I won’t even bother to thank you”.

Narrow down any possible interpretations: if you review a colleague’s work, start your email with “below is some constructive criticism…”

Never send an email if you are annoyed. Choose short emails. Adapt your terminology to suit the receiver’s. Put yourself in their shoes. As soon as you can, choose to meet face to face. Then, if required, send an email to summarise the discussion.

Ask lots of questions:

When you ask questions, you collect information which may be useful to influence the other person.

Don’t say “it’s unfair”. Rather “Do you think that’s fair?” Rather than say “Tidy up your room”, try “Please could you tell me why your room isn’t tidy?”

Do you know the TV series Columbo? Columbo was a formidable police inspector. He had a flawless technique to gather information. He asked collaborative questions:

“I’m not sure I understood, can you help me with…?” “Tell me where I’m wrong about this?” “Is there anything else I should know?” “Is there anything else I should have asked you?”

If they say, “I can’t do this now,” ask them, “When can you do it?” “Who can do it?” If you are told: “That’s our policy on this”, ask: “Have you ever made an exception?” If you are told “We never negotiate the price”, answer: “What do you negotiate on?”

Problem = Opportunity:

Questions allow you to pinpoint the real problem and turn it into an opportunity. If your customer continues to ask for a lower price, even if it is already competitive, ask them why. They may only be interested in part of what you offer, which is why they want it for a lower price. You may also find other potential requirements that you can meet.

  • Constantly review the situation: If a salesperson refuses to match a competitor’s price and service, you could ask, “So I need to use your competitor who provides the same service but cheaper?”

Sum up, in your own words, what the other person has said. Check that you have your facts right. Avoid misunderstandings. The other person sees that you take on board what they say and they, in turn, will listen to you. They may also correct you if and where needed.

  • Discuss before you decide: If you don’t have time, send an email that says: “I have to decide by Thursday. If I don’t get feedback from you before that, I’ll presume you are in agreement”. Consult with the people affected by your decision. You’ll appreciate their input.

Let’s move to the next cornerstone of negotiations, which applies to all of us.

TECHNIQUE #10: Remain calm:

If you like to argue about small details, a fundamental rule of good communication is: Stay calm! Don’t make things worse!

If you become angry it won’t help, you wouldn’t put a fire out with petrol. Serious damage will happen. If you stay calm, the person in the discussion will eventually calm down. The intention is not to have the last word, but to develop positive dialogue and discourse in order to reach an agreement.

Continue to ask questions: if someone says to you, “You’re an idiot,” ask, “Why do you think that?” If the other person is upset, ask them: “Why are you upset?”

Emotion is the enemy of negotiation. If the other person’s actions are ruled by how they feel, they will no longer listen and will become unpredictable.

If a customer is reluctant to pay for a price increase, rather than say “ It’s that or nothing=>” ask “What can our company offer you in return for the price increase?”

Keep your emotions in check:

If you sense that the pressure has increased, stop, take a break. Don’t negotiate if you’re irritated. (If you are) say: “I’m irritable, I might say things I don’t mean, I apologise if I do that.”

If your client threatens to go to your competitor: ask them: “What is it that you prefer about our competitor?”

How you approach and act in the negotiation is vital. If you start off with an attitude in search of a fight, that’s what you’ll get.

If the other person goes too far, ask:

“Is it necessary to shout at me?” Don’t add to the problem, remain calm. The person who becomes annoyed is always in the wrong. If you point out unreasonable behaviour it shines the attention on the other person.

If someone steals an idea from you at a meeting, say “Great idea! When I put that idea forward a few days ago, I didn’t know you were asked to work on it. ” If you are constantly interrupted, say, “Could we take it in turn to talk with no interruptions?”

Forced agreements:

as you can see, if you pressurise the other person it’s just about the worst tactic you can use in a negotiation: if the other side feels the agreement is unfair, and you force their hand, they lose face.

Don’t say: “If you don’t lower your price I will go to your competitor”. Try “I enjoy our work relationship, I’ve bought from you for a while, but at the moment your competitors offer me more at a cheaper price. I would like to continue with you. Is there something that we can do about it?”

You have transferred the problem to them. You turn it into a problem that you can solve together. And you create an opportunity to come up with a more innovative remedy.

The final technique is what will take you to the top of your craft.

TECHNIQUE #11: Be prepared, practice:

When you prepare a negotiation, it shows that you value the person you deal with. This demonstrates that you are prepared for some give and take, not just the expectation that they will give you what you want. If you are ready to negotiate, the other side will notice this and offer more in return.

For example, when you want to buy a car. check the prices at other car showrooms. If you discover it cheaper somewhere else, there is a good chance that your chosen salesperson will match it. A friend of mine spent 10 minutes on some research and it saved him 1000 euros .

A brief summary:

Summary: the Getting More model:

This is Stuart Diamond’s template to prepare properly for a negotiation. It covers the strategies detailed above. The level of importance of the negotiation will determine which aspects you need to use, you may need all of them.

I – Problems and objectives: II – Assessment of the situation

1. Objectives: Short / medium / long term2. Problems to reach your objectives.

3. The parties: the decision-makers, the contact person, third parties

4. What happens if you disagree? What is the worst case scenario?

5. Preparation: time, who is more informed?

6. Requirements or interests of both parties: Rational, emotional, shared, conflictual, different values.

7. Perceptions: of each party, role reversal, cultural issues, conflict, trust.

8. Communication: type, rapport?

9. Rules of conduct: their rules, regulations and guidelines

10. Reassess your objectives: Why say yes / no, for either side

III – Choices or reduced risk: IV – Actions to be carried out

11. Brainstorming: possible choices of what you want and require. What can we trade?

12. Incremental: Steps to minimise risk

13. Third parties: competition that is mutual to both sides, power brokers.

14. Create a vision: identify the relevant questions to ask

15. Options: enhance or modify the agreement if required.

16. The best options or preferences: Dealbreakers, mutual agreements

17. Who presents: how and to whom?

18. Process: Timeline and deadlines, time management

19. Undertakings / profit-sharing: especially for them

20. Next steps: who does what? When is the final deadline?

Copyright Stuart Diamond

You now have all you need to succeed. Let’s take a look at the next steps together.

Conclusions about the book “Getting More”:

That’s it. You have the tools to help you excel in your negotiations!  You’ll discover a new “you” after you employ these techniques. Now you can meticulously prepare for your future negotiations. As soon as you get the chance you will start to bargain, whether it is for one or 1 million euros. You will experiment and develop. Through practice you will build self-confidence. You’ll become more assertive. You will change your approach to other people and profit from it.

As a result, like me, you will have:

  • More clients
  • Credibility more
  • More confidence
  • And, more friends


  • Improved communication with your family and friends
  • Discounts everywhere: in shops, with your bank (are you still paying off your credit card?), when you book your holidays
  • Better skills for your salary and contract negotiations

I know, at this point you bail. You tell yourself, “It’s too complicated! How can you take all of this in and use it on every negotiation?”

Don’t panic. Here is a mini summary from :

A final point to help you out: I read all the comments. If you have problems with a negotiation, describe your circumstances in the comments section of this article:

  • 1st benefit: If you write the problem down it will give you some clarity.
  • 2nd benefit: It’s easy to share the problems you have with other people, just submit your comment.
  • Benefit 3: I could offer you advice.

It’s up to you: practice these techniques daily and you’ll discover that your life will change!

Yohann Feneche from the blog

Strong Points of the book Getting More:

  • Getting More is easy to read
  • Many practical examples on a multitude of relevant areas available in Getting More.
  • Advice on how to put things into practice is available in Getting More
  • For just 10 euros on Amazon, you can get one of the world’s best courses on the skills you need for negotiations by purchasing Getting More

Weak Points of the book Getting More:

  • Getting More is only available in English
  • Repetitive on certain concepts in Getting More
  • Could do with more examples!

My rating : people Happiness people Happiness people Happinesspeople Happinesspeople Happinesspeople Happinesspeople Happinesspeople Happinesspeople Happiness

Have you read “Getting More”? How do you rate it?

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