Summary of “Your Erroneous Zones”: Wayne Dyer helps us identify our negative thoughts and behaviors (anger, worry, guilt, dependency, procrastination, low self-esteem, etc.) in order to transform them and regain control of our lives.
By Wayne Dyer, 2014, 346 pages.
Note: This review was written by guest, Renaud from the Simplifier-la-vie.com blog.
Review and Summary of “Your Erroneous Zones”
Your Erroneous Zones describes a simple and sensible approach to achieve happiness by being responsible and committed to yourself.
Each chapter examines an erroneous zone in detail. Wayne Dyer explains the reasons why you put yourself in a situation of failure by adopting behaviors that are seemingly harmless, but which, in reality, prove to be self-destructive.
Two central themes run through the book. The first concerns your ability to make choices about your own emotions. The second is that of taking charge of your present. It is an essential part of eliminating your erroneous zones. These two concepts recur regularly throughout the book and provide particular insights into each erroneous zone.
Chapter 1. Taking Charge of Yourself
Whatever you do, if you look over your shoulder, there is one thing always present: the certainty of your death. There are two ways to deal with this uncomfortable reality: fear it – and live in fear – or use it to your advantage.
The first option is understandable and legitimate. The idea of dying is not pleasant. But since it is inevitable, why not make it a source of motivation to improve and go beyond yourself in order to live fully?
It is therefore necessary to take charge of yourself and make sure to improve because true intelligence is not that which is defined by a quotient but that which leads to a happy life.
For Dyer, taking charge of your life first and foremost involves managing your thoughts and emotions. Your thoughts belong to you; you control them. If you control your thoughts, and your emotions come from your thoughts, then you are able to control your emotions. Feelings aren’t merely emotions that happen to you. These are reactions that you choose to have. If you are responsible for your own emotions, you do not have to choose negative reactions.
Limiting or negative thoughts create emotions that hold you back in your actions and development. For example, shyness prevents you from approaching someone you like. Or you avoid expressing your feelings because you are afraid of offending others.
Learning positive thinking patterns helps to cancel out negative thoughts, but it is difficult work because their foothold has been strengthened over the years. You can learn to think differently about anything. Ask yourself if there is sufficient benefit in being unhappy, depressed or hurt. Then, start to explore in depth the kind of thoughts that lead to these negative feelings.
You can choose to make any experience enjoyable and stimulating. Any distressing situation is fertile ground for developing new feelings. Actively using your mind means assessing the people or situations that cause you the most difficulty, and then deciding on the mental efforts to put in place so that these obstacles become sources of self-improvement.
Keep in mind the word “immobilization” as an indicator of negative emotions in your life. Immobilization can range from total inaction to slight indecision and hesitancy. Does your anger prevent you from saying, feeling, or doing something? If so, then you are immobilized. Does your shyness prevent you from meeting people you want to know? If this is the case, you are immobilized, and you miss out on potentially enriching experiences.
Virtually all negative emotions cause a certain degree of immobilization, which in itself is reason enough to eliminate them completely from your life.
Chapter 2. First Love
At no time, under no circumstances, is self-hatred as healthy as self-love. Instead of hating yourself, develop positive feelings. Learn from your mistakes and make sure you don’t repeat them, being careful not to associate them with self-esteem.
The practice of self-love begins in your mind. Learn to control your thoughts. It takes a good deal of self-awareness to identify behavior that you disapprove of (but that you do nonetheless). If you find yourself acting this way, try going back to the original thought to understand the reason for such behavior. You will then be able to identify a (bad) habit and transform it to your advantage. The goal is to have your mind work for you, rather than against you.
Some self-love exercises
- First, choose new ways to respond to people who are kind to you. Put skepticism aside and fully accept them.
- If you feel sincere love for someone, say loud and clear “I love you”. And while waiting to see the reaction, pat yourself on the back for taking the risk of expressing it.
- Remove jealousy from your range of reactions by recognizing that it only puts you down. By comparing yourself to another person and imagining yourself to be less loved, you make others more important than you. You measure your own merit in comparison to another person. Remember that whether or not you are chosen by another does not affect your personal worth.
- Don’t equate performance with self-esteem. You can lose your job or fail in a given project. You may not like the way you did this or that task. But that does not mean that you are worthless. It is just as absurd to make your self-esteem dependent on an external achievement as it is to link it to someone else’s opinion.
Chapter 3. You Don’t Need Approval
We appreciate all compliments and praise. It flatters our ego. This is not a problem as long as seeking approval is a desire rather than a necessity. However, it can be a source of suffering when it becomes a need. We are then in an erroneous zone where what matters is what others approve or don’t approve of. What they think determines us, imprisons us.
It is impossible to go through life without encountering disagreement. It is the way of humanity, something inevitable, a kind of contribution to pay in order to evolve among our fellow men.
See how the world works. You cannot please everyone. When you have that in mind, you can start looking at disagreement in a new light. You will not avoid it! For every opinion you have, there will always be an opposite view. Keep in mind that the opinions of others do not determine your self-esteem.
Some specific strategies for eliminating the search for approval
- Choose a person you disagree with and confront them (peacefully), maintaining your position calmly. Dealing with disapproval rather than avoiding it helps you build a repertoire of behaviors that allow you to manage it effectively.
- You can break the link between what others think, say and do, and your own worth. When you encounter disapproval, say to yourself, “This is their business, I expect this person to behave this way, it has nothing to do with me.” This approach eliminates the pain you inflict on yourself when you associate someone else’s feelings with your own thoughts.
- Ask yourself this important question when you get disagreement: If they agreed with me, would I be better off? The answer is clearly no. Whatever others think cannot affect you unless you let them.
- Accept the simple fact that some people will not understand you, and that this is completely normal. Conversely, you will not understand people who are very close to you. It’s all right to be different and the most fundamental understanding you can have is that you don’t understand everything or everyone.
- Eliminate the many apologies you make even when you are not really sorry about what you just said or did. Most of the apologies are requests for forgiveness, and requests for forgiveness are approval-seeking.
- Finally, observe the number of declarative or interrogative sentences that you make. Do you ask questions? Do you ask for permission and approval, as opposed to an affirmation? For example, the question “It’s a nice day, isn’t it?” Assumes the other person has the answer while you wait for their approval. A simple “the weather is nice” affirms your position without expecting anything in return. Continually asking questions to others reflects your lack of self-confidence and your inability to take charge.
Chapter 4. Breaking Free from the Past
Who are you? How do you describe yourself? What are your self-descriptors? To answer these questions, you will most likely have to refer to your own history.
Self-descriptors are not a problem in themselves, but they can be used in a harmful way. The very act of labeling can be a specific deterrent to growth. Placing someone in categories condemns them as an individual. It’s the same when the individual labels him/herself.
Observe how much your past holds you back. All self-destructive “I’ms” are the result of the use of these four neurotic sentences:
- “That’s the way I am.”
- “I’ve always been that way.”
- “I can’t help it.”
- “That’s my nature.”
These are 4 seemingly mundane sentences that keep you from growing, changing and making your life exciting.
Ten typical categories of “I’ms” and their neurotic dividends
- I’m bad at math, spelling, reading, languages, etc.
This type of self-descriptor prevents you from evolving. They are there to keep you from doing irritating or difficult chores.
- I’m unable to cook, draw, do theater, etc.
This attitude reinforces your inaction and reinforces the idea that it is better to do nothing rather than to do it poorly.
- I’m shy, reserved, temperamental, nervous, etc.
Rather than challenge these, it’s convenient to use genetics to accept them as a confirmation of the way you’ve always been.
- I’m clumsy, uncoordinated, etc.
These ideas that you learned in your childhood help you avoid potentially ridiculous or embarrassing situations.
- I’m too small, too tall, etc.
These physiological “I’ms” help you to avoid taking risks with the opposite sex and to justify the poor self-image and lack of love that you have of yourself. As long as you describe yourself that way, you have a ready-made excuse for not putting yourself in danger in a romantic relationship.
- I’m unorganized, messy, etc.
These behaviors are convenient for justifying the need to do things a certain way. As if tradition was a reason to do anything.
- I’m careless, irresponsible, apathetic, etc.
These types of messages are especially useful when you want to justify ineffective behavior.
- I’m Italian, German, Jewish, etc.
These self-descriptors belong to your ethnic or religious group and work very well when you run out of other reasons to explain certain behaviors that you have, which do not work for you, but are simply too difficult to combat.
- I’m bossy, arrogant, etc.
Here, your “I’m” allows you to continue to act hostile, rather than working to develop personal discipline.
- I’m old, middle-aged, tired, etc.
Thanks to these “I’ms”, your physical condition saves you from trying something new.
Some strategies for freeing yourself from limiting self-descriptors
- Eliminate the “I’ms” wherever you can. Replace them with sentences such as “until today I’ve chosen to be like that” or “I used to label myself…”
- Set behavioral goals to act differently from what you have done in the past. For example, if you consider yourself shy, introduce yourself to someone you might have avoided.
- Pay attention to the four neurotic sentences and correct yourself out loud as follows:
- I’m like that = I was like that
- I’ve always been like that = I’m going to change
- I can’t help it = I can change that if I work on it
- That’s my nature = That’s what I used to believe
Chapter 5. The Useless Emotions: Guilt and Worry
Perhaps the most common forms of distress are guilt and worry. With guilt, you focus on a past event, you feel down or angry about something you have done or said, and you spend the present moment brooding over the past. With worry and anger, you focus on an upcoming event. Whether you’re looking back or forward, the result is the same. You are wasting the present moment.
Worry will not make things better. On the other hand, it will most likely help to make you less effective in the present.
Much of your worry is about things over which you have no control. You can worry as much as you want about the war, the economy or a possible disease. As an individual, you have little control over these things. Furthermore, the catastrophe you worry about often turns out to be less horrible than you imagined.
The present moment is the key to understanding your guilt and worry. Learn to live now and don’t waste your time immobilizing your thoughts in the past or the future. There is no other time to live than now.
Some strategies for eliminating guilt
- Start considering the past as something that can never be changed. Any guilt you may feel will not change the past. Your feelings of guilt will not change the past and make you a better person.
- Ask yourself what you are avoiding in the present by feeling guilty about the past.
- Make a list of all the bad things you’ve done. Assign guilt points to each of them on a scale of one to ten. Add up your score and see if it makes a difference whether it’s 100 or 1,000,000. You will notice that the present moment is always the same.
Some strategies for eliminating worry
- Consider the present moment as a moment to live rather than an obsession for the future. Ask yourself what you’re avoiding when you spend your energy worrying.
- Always keep in mind this question: “Is there anything that will ever change as a result of my worrying about it?”
- Make a list of everything that worried you yesterday, last week, and even last year. See if any of your worry have had a positive impact on you. Also assess how many things you were worried about that never happened. You will see that worry is really a doubly wasteful activity. It doesn’t change anything in the future. And the imagined catastrophe can even sometimes prove to be a blessing.
- Ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen to you and how likely it is to happen. Rationalizing a worry significantly reduces its power to harm.
- Face your fears with productive thinking and behavior. An effective challenge to a fear or worry is the most productive way to eliminate it from your life.
Chapter 6. Exploring the Unknown
For many, the unknown is equated with danger. However, if you fully believe in yourself, no activity is beyond your potential. You can take advantage of the full gamut of human experience once you have decided to venture into a territory where there are no guarantees.
Opening up to new experiences means giving up the idea that it is better to tolerate something familiar rather than attempting to change it, because change is synonymous with uncertainty.
Failure is simply someone else’s opinion of how a given act should have been done. Once you believe that no act should be done in a way defined by another person, then failing becomes impossible.
However, it may happen that you fail at a given task according to your own standards. The important thing is to not equate the act with self-esteem. Failure to succeed in a particular endeavor is not a failure as a person.
Without failure, we cannot learn, and yet we have learned to consider success as the only acceptable criterion. We tend to avoid all experiences that might fail. The fear of failure is largely related to the fear of the unknown. Anything that does not guarantee success should be avoided. Fear of failure means fear of both the unknown and the disapproval that comes with not doing your best.
Some strategies for managing the unknown
- Make selective efforts to try new things.
- Invite and confront people with differing points of view.
- Give up having to have a reason for everything you do. When someone asks why, remember that you don’t have to find an answer to satisfy them. You can do what you want just because you want to.
- Start taking risks that get you out of the routine. Unplanned vacations, an interview for a new job, talk to someone you avoided because you were afraid of not knowing what might happen. Why? Just because it’s different and you want to do it.
- Whenever you find yourself avoiding the unknown, ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that can happen to me?”. You will see that your fears are disproportionate to the real consequences.
- Try things you have always avoided because you “shouldn’t do them”. Expose yourself to new experiences.
- Do things you’ve always avoided because you thought “I’m not good at this.” If the result doesn’t meet your expectations, you will not have failed, you will have had half a day of fun.
- Do not let your convictions, based on past experience, keep you stagnant. There is only what is here and now, and the truth of the present may not be the truth of the past. Evaluate your behavior not on what you believe, but on what you experience in the present.
- Remember that nothing human is alien to you. You can be anything you choose to be.
- Talk to someone you have avoided in the past. You will discover that your prejudices keep you stagnant.
Chapter 7. Breaking the Barrier of Convention
The world is full of “shoulds” that people apply to their behavior without evaluation. These “shoulds” make up a large erroneous zone.
You may be guided by a set of rules and principles that you don’t even subscribe to, and yet you are unable to break away and decide for yourself what works and what doesn’t work for you.
Laws are necessary, and order is an important part of civilized society. But blind adherence to conventions is much more destructive to the individual than violation of the rules.
A “should” is unhealthy only when it interferes with healthy and effective behavior. If you find yourself doing annoying or counterproductive things as a result of a should, you’ve given up your freedom of choice and let yourself be controlled by some external force.
Some typical “should” behaviors
- Believing that there is a place for everything and that everything must be in its place. The organization syndrome means that you are uncomfortable if things are not in their designated location.
- Next, asking yourself, “What should I wear?” on a regular basis, as if there is only one acceptable fashion and it is determined by other people. White pants and pastel colors are only worn in summer, wool is a winter fabric, etc.
- Assuming that certain drinks must go with certain foods. White wine must accompany fish and poultry. Red wine only goes with beef. Being locked into someone else’s rules about what to eat with what.
- Going to bed when it is time to go to bed rather than when you are tired.
- Having sex only in one or two ways because those are the only acceptable ways.
- Selecting roles in everyday life because culture requires it. Women do the dishes, men take out the trash, housework is for the wife, outdoor work is for the husband, etc.
Some strategies for removing some of the “shoulds”
- Start by understanding your own behavior. Ask yourself why you are burdening yourself with so much. Do you really believe in them or are you just used to behaving like that?
- Talk with your loved ones about the many rules of conduct that you all follow and that you find unpleasant. Perhaps you can impose new rules that seem more reasonable for everyone. You will discover that the old rules are still in effect because no one has ever thought of challenging them in the past.
- Eliminate the roles you assume in your life. Be what you want to be, rather than what you think you should be because you are a middle-aged man, a single woman, or whatever.
- Become your own judge of your behavior and learn to trust yourself to make informed decisions.
Chapter 8. The Justice Trap
We are conditioned to seek justice, and when it doesn’t appear, we tend to feel anger, anxiety or frustration.
Justice does not exist. It never has and never will. The world is simply not designed that way. You have only to look at nature to realize that there is no justice in the world.
This is not a sour vision of humanity and the world, but rather a realistic account of the nature of this world. Justice is simply a concept that has practically no application, especially when it comes to your own choices about achievement and happiness.
But many people tend to demand that equity be an integral part of our relationships with others. “It’s not fair”, “You don’t have the right to do that if I can’t” and “Would I do this to you?” are sentences we often use. We seek justice and use its absence to justify misfortune.
The demand for justice is not a neurotic behavior. It only becomes an erroneous zone when you punish yourself with a negative emotion as you fail to get the justice that you so sincerely demand.
The demand for justice can infiltrate your personal relationships and prevent you from communicating effectively with others. The slogan “It’s not fair” is one of the most common – and most destructive – complaints made by one person towards another.
If you are upset that you cannot do what someone else is doing, you give them control over you. Whenever you compare yourself to someone else, you go from self-reliance to external thinking directed by others.
Fairness is an external concept, a way to avoid taking charge of your life. Instead of thinking that something is unfair, you can decide what you really want and then strategize to make it happen, regardless of what others do or want.
Some strategies for giving up the futile search for justice
- Make a list of everything in your world that is unfair. Use it as a guide for effective personal action. Ask yourself this important question: “Will inequities go away if I am upset?” Obviously not. By attacking the erroneous thinking that is causing you problems, you will be on your way to escape the justice trap.
- Think of your emotional life as independent of everything anyone does.
- Replace the sentence “It’s not fair” with “It’s unfortunate” or “I would prefer…”. So, instead of insisting that the world be other than what it is, you begin to accept reality, without necessarily approving of it.
- Correct yourself out loud when you use a sentence like, “I always call you when I’m going to be late, so why don’t you do?”. Replace it with, “I would have felt better if you had called me.”
Chapter 9. Putting an End to Procrastination – Now
Do you procrastinate? If you are like most people, the answer to this question is yes. Procrastination is a tiring aspect of life. It’s likely that you repeat a thought like “I know I should do it, but I’ll come back to it later” several times a day.
Procrastination is the closest thing to a universal erroneous zone. Very few people can honestly say that they are not procrastinators, despite the fact that this is unhealthy in the long run.
Convincing yourself that you can put it off because you might not do it right today is a sham. It’s a comfortable system of saying, “I know I have to do it, but I’m afraid I won’t do it right. So, I tell myself that I will do it later in order to avoid having to admit that I won’t do it.” The possibility of failure is more acceptable this way. This is the kind of convenient, fallacious reasoning that can be used when you have to do something unpleasant or difficult.
Some techniques for getting out of this postponing behavior
- Make a decision to live five minutes at a time. Instead of thinking about long-term tasks, think about it now and try to use a five-minute period to do what you want, refusing to put off anything that would bring about satisfaction.
- Sit back and start something that you have been postponing. Begin a letter or a book. You will find that much of your putting it off is unnecessary as you will most likely find the task enjoyable. Just getting started will help you get rid of the anxiety over the whole project.
- Ask yourself, “What is the worst thing that can happen to me if I do what I’m putting off right now?”. The answer is usually so insignificant that it can prompt you to take action.
- Give yourself a time slot to devote yourself exclusively to the task you have postponed. You will discover that the fifteen minutes of dedicated effort is often enough to get you past procrastination.
- Look closely at your life. Do you do what you would choose to do if you knew you had six months left to live? Otherwise, you’d better start because, relatively speaking, that’s all you have. On a time scale, thirty years or six months makes no difference. Your total lifespan is a mere speck. Delaying anything makes no sense.
- Remove the words “hope”, “wish” and “maybe” from your vocabulary. These are tools for putting it off.
Chapter 10. Declare Your Independence
Leaving the nest is one of the most difficult tasks in life. It means becoming your own person, living and choosing the behaviors you want.
Psychological independence means the total absence of any compulsory relationship and any behavior led by another. It’s not having to do something you wouldn’t want to if the relationship didn’t exist.
Psychological dependence, on the other hand, means that you are in relationships that involve no choice, a relationship in which you are forced to be something.
Being psychologically independent means not needing others, which is different from wanting to be with others. When you need, you become vulnerable and a slave. If the one you need leaves, changes their mind, or dies, you are forced into immobilization, collapse, or even death.
How to get rid of dependency
- Talk to each person you feel psychologically dependent upon. Declare your independent operating goals, explain how you feel when you act out of obligation.
- When you feel you are being pushed psychologically, state what you are feeling and then act as you wish.
- If you feel compelled to visit certain people, ask yourself if you would like other people to visit you just because they feel compelled to do so. Otherwise, show the same courtesy to those you treat in this way and discuss it. In other words, reverse the logic and see how undignified a relationship of obligation is.
- Recognize your desire for privacy and not having to share with someone everything you feel and experience.
- Remember that habit is not a reason to do anything. The mere fact that you have always been submissive to others does not constitute sufficient justification for it to continue.
Chapter 11. Farewell to Anger
Anger is part of your life, but it serves no useful purpose. Perhaps you justify your angry behavior by saying, for example, “it’s human” or “if I don’t say it, I’ll get an ulcer”. But anger is useless. It has nothing to do with being a happy person. You don’t have to possess it. It is an erroneous zone, a kind of psychological influence that incapacitates you like a physical illness.
Anger is an immobilizing reaction, which occurs when an expectation is not met. It takes the form of rage, hostility, physical abuse or even silence. It is not simple annoyance or irritation. Anger is a choice, but also a habit. It is a reaction to frustration. To some degree, it can be a form of madness that causes you to lose control. There is no psychological reward for anger. In the physiological realm, it can lead to hypertension, ulcers, rashes, palpitations, insomnia, fatigue and even heart disease. In the psychological sense, anger breaks up romantic relationships, interferes with communication, leads to guilt and depression.
Expressing anger can be healthier than suppressing it. However, there is an even healthier stance: not having it at all. In this case, you do not face the dilemma of bottling it up or externalizing it.
Like all emotions, anger is the result of thinking. It’s not something that just happens to you. When faced with circumstances that don’t turn out the way you want, you tell yourself that things shouldn’t be like this (frustration), and then you select a familiar response that you think is useful. And as long as you consider anger to be part of what it means to be a human being, you have a reason to accept it and avoid working on it.
Unleash your anger, let it out in a non-destructive way – if you still decide to deal with it. But think of yourself as someone who may have new thoughts when faced with frustration. Which will give rise to more fulfilling emotions.
Annoyance, irritation, and disappointment are feelings you will likely continue to experience, as the world will never be the way you want it to be. But anger, that hurtful emotional reaction to obstacles, can be eliminated.
Some specific strategies for eliminating anger
- Get in touch with your thoughts at the time of your anger and remember that you don’t have to think that way just because you’ve always done it in the past. Awareness is paramount.
- Try postponing anger. If you usually react with anger in certain circumstances, hold it in for fifteen seconds, and then let it out in the usual way. Next try thirty seconds and continue to lengthen the intervals. Once you start to see that you can postpone the anger, it will dissipate.
- At the time of anger, remember that everyone has the right to be different. Denying this will only prolong your anger.
- Ask someone you trust to help you. Ask them to tell you when they see your anger happening. When it does, watch your thoughts and try the postponing strategy.
- After an outburst, announce that you have not controlled yourself, but that one of your goals is to think differently so that you do not feel that anger. The verbal announcement will put you in touch with what you have done and demonstrate that you are really working on yourself.
- Talk to those who are the most frequent recipients of your anger at a time when you are not angry. Let them know how you feel about certain situations that trigger your anger.
- Defuse your anger for the first few seconds by stating how you are feeling. The first ten seconds are the most crucial. Once you overcome them, your anger will often have subsided.
- If you have children, remember that they will always be active and noisy and getting upset about it will not help. While you can help children make constructive choices in other areas, you can never change their inner nature.
Chapter 12. Portrait of A Person Who Has Eliminated All Erroneous Zones
People free from erroneous zones love everything about life. They are in action and do not waste time complaining or wishing that things would happen otherwise.
Healthy, fulfilled individuals are freed from guilt and all the anxiety that comes with it. They can obviously make mistakes – no one is perfect – but they don’t waste their time brooding or being upset because things should have happened differently. They do not live in the past. What’s done is done. Besides, no feeling of hopelessness will change anything. They know that feeling bad at the moment only reinforces a poor self-image and that learning from the past is much more effective than dwelling on it.
People free from erroneous zones refuse to worry. They live in the present moment and do not feel threatened by the unknown. On the contrary, they seek out new experiences and savor the present at all times, aware that this is all they have.
Their family ties are strong, but they regard independence as superior to dependence in all relationships. They cherish their own freedom. Their relationships are based on mutual respect for an individual’s right to decide for himself.
These people operate without approval or praise. They are free from the opinions of others, almost indifferent to the fact that others like what they say or do.
They are not rebels, but they make their own choices even if it means being in conflict. And they do not blame others but refuse to take responsibility that is not theirs.
The possibility of failure is not a problem or a cause for concern. They are not afraid to fail because they do not associate the success of an action with success as a human being. Since their self-esteem comes from within, any external event is objectively considered to be simply effective or ineffective. Failure is a subjective notion that does not call into question their inner nature or their self-confidence.
Book critique of “Your Erroneous Zones”:
As a speaker and psychologist, Wayne Dyers has worked with thousands of people. He has had the opportunity to observe human nature from every angle. It shows in this book.
We all have erroneous zones; they make us human. For people wishing to improve, it is a question of flushing them out and transforming them. This book is a very useful toolbox for exploring the unknown, freeing oneself from the past, no longer being afraid, stepping outside the box and being yourself, and happy. Dyer doesn’t revolutionize personal development or psychology, that’s not his intention. His concepts are familiar, even obvious, but he provides essential refresher courses. Some parts may give the impression that he is stating the obvious, but it is often these very ones that confront us with our nonsensical behaviors and negative habits.
In my opinion, it’s a book that should be read several times, and which requires a period of assimilation. The kind of book that you can pick up again months, even years later, and continue to get new information out of it.
Furthermore, I recommend it to anyone who’s working on themselves. When we happen to feel lost or experience lack of discernment, this book puts us back on track.
- Reference book in practical psychology
- Confronting, does not leave you indifferent
- Many practical examples
- The message is universal, it concerns everyone
- Despite the somewhat dated appearance of some examples – the original text dates from 1976 – the content remains relevant and current
- Repetitive at times
- Dyer’s arguments are based on his practice, there is a great deal of subjectivity, one may not subscribe to everything
- The book cannot be read in 5 minutes, it is dense. Dyer should have simplified his points a little better
- Although the concepts mentioned are accessible to all, the explanations are sometimes very long. Sorting through it is required
My rating :
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